Don't Hold Frame Do This Instead

True leadership is building, maintaining, and bringing others into your narrative.

The whole framework behind holding frame is incorrect.

The problem with the concept of holding frame, like a lot of the ideas in the Red Pill, is that it is based on surface level behaviors. The manosphere believes emulating the behavior of successful men will get their results. This isn’t the case for most men. Just watch a red pill beta hold frame. It’s painfully obvious that holding frame is a cover up for his impotence to influence his circumstance. He doesn't demonstrate his intellectual competence over the opponent. Nor does he negotiate for mutual benefit. The red-pill aware beta masks his verbal incompetence by doubling-down on his position. By doing so, he avoids any dialectical process that would lead to a new outcome that could move his life to the next stage. Holding frame is a defense mechanism. But the only way to progress as a man is from a place of attack, and being open to attack. I’m using attack in the broad sense. I mean taking a proactive approach towards changing one’s circumstances.

Before I get into what to do instead of holding frame, let’s see how holding frame holds you back. I’ll give an example of a common relationship problem. You should be able to see how this would apply to your dealings with men as well. Let’s say that your girlfriend decides that she wants to go to the nightclub with her friends, while dressed in a skimpy outfit. What are you going to do? This is where the Red Pill common sense would tell you to hold frame. You are going to tell her that if she goes out with her friends to that night club, then it is over between the two of you. You’re then going to double-down on that position, while you hope that she gives in. Another option is having a frame so strong that you send her off to cultivate erotic energy from a surprising source. But let’s assume that your frame strength is NOT next-level enough to allow yourself to get Cucked while thinking you’re Alpha. You’re going to tell her “no”, and either she gives in, or a conflict ensues. The conflict will end with her giving in, or with her breaking things off. Let’s assume she “gives into your frame”-- congratulations, now there is going to be surplus enjoyment when she eventually does cheat on you. Cheating on you will now be seasoned with the satisfaction of transgressing an overbearing boyfriend. It’s the same with dealing with children-- having a strong frame will only make their rebelling against you feel even better. Think back to highschool and remember the drug use of the kids who grew up under overbearing parents-- their parents' holding frame messed them up. Even well into adulthood, some of them are still rebelling against their parents, whether they know it or not. When dealing with other men, asserting your frame can result in resentment or evasion-- an issue when you need people to do things for you. Holding frame will just incentivize men to screw you over in any way they can.

Holding frame is a display of your power-- but displays of power are evidence of one's impotence. Just take a look at any country when its authority is under threat. Laws become more strict and the big guns are brandished. It’s one thing having a nuclear arsenal, it’s another thing to be poised to use it at any moment. By holding frame, you unconsciously signal your impotence. As a result, you invite circumstances to reveal that impotence.

Power is about having a frame so strong that it can hold itself up-- in other words, a shared narrative. True leadership is building, maintaining, and bringing others into your narrative. You don't do this through asserting your frame, but through drawing people in. Unlike frame, the narrative never completely belongs to you. The real power dynamic isn’t in asserting dominance over others, but having influence over the narrative. The narrative is alive and thus ever changing. As a leader, you need to be the one directing the change as the situation calls for it.

Some of you may think that by narrative I mean a delusion. One can argue that it is indeed a delusion, but narratives is how we make sense of reality. You could call it a delusion, as it is a product of our minds, but it is not a flat out lie, because it shapes material reality. Government wouldn’t exist without people buying into the narrative of the nation. Marriage wouldn’t exist without the narrative of there being a deep bond between a man and a woman. In fact, one can attribute the failure of modern marriages in the west to the increasing lack of societal support for that narrative. Even science requires an institutionally-backed narrative that it can understand everything the best. None of the narratives are lies, but none are completely true either. Some are more true than others. Regardless, the main point is that all human relations a structured through narratives. Whether it be political, familial, professional, or sexual.

Let's illustrate a simple application of this knowledge. We'll go back to the example of the girlfriend who wants to go out to the club in a skimpy outfit with her friends. That situation actually happened to me when I was in university with my girlfriend at the time. She didn’t end up going. I didn’t need to tell her that she couldn’t go. All I had to ask her was, “You’re my girlfriend, right? What does that mean to you?” I didn’t need to resort to asserting MY frame. I instead used the power of the narrative of OUR romantic relationship. The strength of a narrative is stronger than any one individual's frame.

Do NOT simply replicate the line I used if you find yourself in a similar situation. I built my relationship in such a way where I could handle those issues with ease. Memorizing lines won't help. You need to build and maintain narratives. Doing so requires a high verbal intelligence, and an understanding of psychoanalysis and ideology. This is why I was pushing to incorporate higher level theory in the seduction curriculum, to bring you and your game to a higher level.